tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-294325042024-03-23T11:08:43.755-07:00dreams of a life timeRomantic,anaesthetist, mom,optimist,judgemental,teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-37702946446923759842020-01-13T21:34:00.000-08:002020-01-13T21:34:31.183-08:00The other side<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Its not often that we, as a medical fraternity deal with our own loved ones as patients. We see so many patients and relatives every day that it seldom strikes us that it could be us in their places too. Most of the days ,we deal with the frustrations of irritable by- standers, over concerned parents as well as children that their worries fail to register with us in time. We become concerned with treating the patients and not much else. It is probably a self protective mechanism we develop over years, otherwise who wants to be so emotionally attached to each patient that each of their inevitable ends(which might have been prolonged by us) leave us emotionally scarred each time around. And our psyches aren’t meant to take that much damage, so it comes naturally to us that we distance ourselves from their fears,turn a blind eye to their tears and we learn to be matter of fact and move on, because , self preservation is an art which medicos learn without ever having to be taught.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There have been two instances in my life which have made me stop and wonder at the distances we keep ,the direct gazes we avoid and the awkward moments we never want to be a part of. First came a long time ago, 12 years ago, when i was nothing but a naive wide eyed 18yr old medical student standing in front of the neuro surgical icu as the lonesome connecting link between my completely non-medico parents and extremely professional surgeons of my brother, who was brought there with extensive brain injury. The first time i heard the word GCS was then, and little did i know then that 3/15 was as bad as it gets. The doctors telling me assumed i understood what they were saying, and my parents assumed that i understood better than they did, but either side failed to see the terrified clueless naive girl in front of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The next time was much more recently, by then i had graduated in age as well as education as well as maturity to be an anaesthetist , a wife, and a mom but even then the fears of hearing the word cancer in association with your mom does not make it any less scary than it was 12 years ago.But this time around i was better prepared, i knew what to ask, who to ask and how to be. I researched extensively till i realised that knowing more about it was only making things worse and not better. 12 years ago the situation was of a naive unprepared teen while this time around i should have had more of a handle on the situation, but both times left me feeling completely powerless,vulnerable,scared and stretched to the limit of fearing the worst. Atleast this time around i knew that my dad needed me to be strong and by this time around i was old enough to atleast pretend to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Both these instances have shaped me a lot in the making of who i am as a doctor. The first time,when i was too young ,instilled in me an empathy to the bystanders who never know who to ask and what to ask and most of the time are just looking for a comforting smile. That time taught me how much a simple acknowledgment of their presence outside the ICU s make a sea of difference to them. By the next time when i was standing outside an ICU i knew to appreciate the people who take care of your loved ones inside as well as have an understanding of the limitations they have. I learnt to appreciate the higher being who decides what happens however we may want it to pan out. I learnt to understand that all we can do in any situation is be the best version of ourselves and pray for the best.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Beyond the tinted glass door of the ICU, the other side, seems a distant shadow, one we never want to be a part of, one we almost always ignore and one we never think of. But when the light falls on us and makes us the shadows and, remember ,one day it will, we are left with thoughts of how we could have been, better, and nicer versions of ourselves.</span></div>
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-44126090833552016132018-06-14T03:00:00.000-07:002018-06-14T03:00:55.538-07:00Moving on.. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Moving on has been always reasonably easy for me. Be it changing schools from a small city to big one or going for college in a different state and that too to a place like manipal or leaving manipal after 5years to come back to another different city in kerala to study more. Never have I had doubts about friends and family I am leaving behind cause I knew I would always love and be in touch with people I really wanted to and the new place always excited me about the new possibilities new people and the yet another fresh start.<br />
But when you become a mom I realise lot changes. You are concerned or nail bitingly worried about how SHE is going to be.You are worried if, choosing the betterment of your career comes at a price you might not have expected or been willing to pay if you had realized earlier.<br />
But concerns aside, moving on is something everyone has to do whether we are so bogged down by the situation that we don't wanna move, or not. You always have to go ahead in life, be it a death of a near one or an unpleasant truth which we had to face.<br />
The only hope you have while you move on is that the people you have accumulated while on the journey move on with you so that you aren't left hanging or left in regret as you look back.<br />
As I have always believed its the journey which is exciting .. and the fun you have on the journey of life has everything to do with the people you have around you. Some like me are lucky to have a group of people who almost know you better than yourself and yet have the pleasure of adding more names to that list.<br />
The road you take may be the less travelled bad one or the always travelled one but the journey you have with your circle determines whether your trip ends being lonely and sad or full of laughter and love</div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-5807714709297412542018-01-09T20:13:00.000-08:002018-01-09T20:13:54.538-08:00Random musings of a confused soul <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
2018, I know, is gonna bring me a lot of tests and tribulations I am not sure I am ready to deal with yet. You plan something and then a higher power decides, "let's change the game". 2017 had lots of ups and downs. Sad thing is, you remember the downs more clearly than you do the ups. You remember when and how you have been let down by people better than how they came through. You pretend you don't but you do!<br />
Each and every day as you grow older you realise the time which has been given to us is transient. You are here today and tomorrow you aren't, how do you make your life count then? The plans you so diligently make all seem so superfluous in the face of reality.<br />
How you choose to remain when the truth dawns on you is totally upto you, make most of each day or be angry about the time you might or might not get.<br />
You realise the most important people in your life are the ones who let you down the most but u slap a bandage over the wound and pray it holds till it doesn't.<br />
There is a prayer which I first heard years ago on a TV series I have been addicted to. It struck such a chord in me that I have gone back to it frequently when the going got rough. I dunno where it originally came from but it has appealed to me like no prayer ever has, so its only fitting that I find it printed on the walls of the medical oncology dept I have been roaming around recently.<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #3c4043; font-family: , "helveticaneue" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">" lord grand me the strength to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference"</span></div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-59081020640533587682017-02-08T02:11:00.000-08:002017-02-08T02:15:20.037-08:00A few life realisations of a 1 year old mom!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As my beautiful (yes my eyes might be tinted for my little one but lots agree with me!😆) daughter turns one soon, I cannot believe i am repeating the cliche of time has flown !(is that even a word? 🤔)<br />
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I have learnt quite a few things by myself in addition to the thousand things told and taught by my mom's! (Yes i have 2, both are at times annoying and frustrating but when are moms not?😐)</div>
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So getting back to baby realisations-</div>
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1.yes as everyone knows but doesnt believe till it happens to them,your baby makes you mushy beings who coo and ahh at each sound they make,each step they take,each smile they give and what nots!</div>
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2. Babies are wiley if you didn't know,they know how exactly to wrap you around their fingers, they ll have you buttered up with their toothless smiles and if that doesnt work there s the all time favourite high pitched yelling till they get that phone in their hand!</div>
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3. This i had read somewhere but i am reinforcing strongly-donot look into their eyes if you are trying to make them sleep, that is when they decide sleep is boring and that they d rather be making you carry them around but not sleep!😏</div>
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4. The psychologists/psychiatrists out there might disagree with me scientifically but i strongly urge all new moms to know that all babies are bipolar!!!! They smile and laugh at you one second and the next they scream like their cute butts are on fire, for God knows what reason most of the times!</div>
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5. Also babies have real good manners! They smile and charm when people are around and save the fussiness and crying for only family😋</div>
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But whatever said and done the open miuthed smile when you come home from work and the sloppy kisses are the best thigs that has ever happened to me!😍😍</div>
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-87202150725121100692016-08-10T06:40:00.001-07:002016-08-10T06:40:22.358-07:00A moment of introspection <p dir="ltr">Life has and ,I guess, always will be a mixed bag of surprises,some happy, some  sad but never boring. I have been surprised at the curveballs it's thrown my way ,as if to check whether I am still in the game. Thankfully I still am.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Thinking back everything seems like a pre- written step towards something. I am not sure where it is supposed to lead or how I am supposed to make a difference but as usual I have been more or less happily going with the flow. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Things have happened in my life which makes me constantly feel that someone is looking out for me. Be it ending up in manipal(which even with the fees only was not easy  for my parents to afford), meeting my friends turned soul sisters(sanity was their department ),meeting sam,losing my brother(an irreplaceable loss), marrying sam (who has become my pillar of support strength annoyance and irritation all combined in one) falling in love with anaesthesia, getting to study under an awe inspiring teacher, pregnancy, exams, court,exams again, and never to forget falling unconditionally and irrevocably  (I didn't think such depth of feelings were possible  ) in love with Eva.<br>
Finally it's another turn,that of a job. With 10 years of studying behind me,finally the time has come to learn to start standing on your own rather than in the safe shadows of others. I am excited ,as I always am, about a new venture. Along with it are a handful of trepidations about the path ahead.<br>
But as always I feel the presence of a guardian angel,never too far,never too close. I call him God and my shaky faith reminds me many a times of  how i have always been in good hands but, as is the nature of man, I am prone to doubt. But I guess that is human.</p>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-83103784754976803392016-06-12T23:34:00.001-07:002016-06-12T23:34:37.798-07:00Soul Sisters <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There are lots of thing I want for my baby girl.But one thing I hope she ll get while she is growing up are friends who are almost better than family.Her mom won't always be able to relate to her. The age gap of 27 years becomes a generation gap long before anyone realises it, there will be a time when she listen to her friends more than to her family and to be blessed with a good lot is discovery I hope she makes.<br />
Be it in school or college or work she will always meet new people but only a handful become so entwined in your life that when something eventful happens in your life u wanna share it asap, it does not matter that u may be miles apart but they are never far away from your thoughts<br />
You will fight,laugh,cry, party and share secrets with them which you will never tell your mother.<br />
I hope, dear daughter, that you are as lucky as I have been.<br />
Soul sisters of mine, aunties of hers, be around ,be connected,tell her things I probably never can, pamper her like I would and love her like you love me😚😚</div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-1379117681249671932016-05-16T06:05:00.002-07:002016-05-16T06:05:36.498-07:00From career girl to babbling mom!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It s been a really long while since I posted anything. It obviously doesn't mean nothing has been happening, it just means I have been procrastinating as usual, with the tomorrow coming today, after one and half years! But then, if I post everyday you guys would get bored right? 😄<br />
So to give a brief synopsis of what happenedo far, I gave my theory exams in june,got pregnant in July, vomited my guts out from July to January and then finally pushed her out on March 6th.<br />
Obviously I wasn't the glowing happy mom- to- be. I, err, was a little less than ecstatic when the stick turned pink ( do not judge me O mom s out there or if u do don't let me know, I could be vicious and blame it on post partum depression -which I was sure I'd have but turned out I didn't 😆)<br />
Anyway to no surprise to me and lots to Sam (my significant other if u guys had forgotten) I had no maternal instincts whatsoever, while I was pregnant, to the point that I was worried whether I'd get any at all when she comes 😨.(yes i knew it was a she)All I was worried about was the pain I would have to go through(cause my husband aka the devil vetoed elective caesarean which made me question him again as to why I married him or why he should have say in how I get my baby out-he was smart enough to just let me vent my pregnancy hormones away 😆) and how to stop throwing everything up, and not to forget, my obsession about how I am going to lose all those kilos which just seemed to increase no matter how much I puked 😡<br />
So after almost 24 hours of labor only 4 of which was actually torture (yay to epidural,it actually works 😂 )Evelyn arrived all of 3.4kg and 50cm! It sounds like she would be a good size baby rite? But she looked tiny! I couldn't believe I had actually done it (pushed her out, that is) and was still up to talk(sam would say complain😆) about it and since I had threatened him for 9 months about disowning him if he was his usual late self, the baby daddy was there not only to receive her but hold my hand too! As much as I hate to admit it,I have to conceed grudgingly that he was pretty great😆<br />
Fast forward to 2 months I am beyond shocked at the maternal instincts I have developed!😂(thank god for oxytocin)I think now I should be worried whether I ll be the stereotypical mom cause my priorities have changed like I wouldn't believe. I am still amazed at the cringe in my heart on seeing her toothless smile! She cries her lungs out and upsets me to no end,she has given me new definition of sleepless nights and yet the new mom in me is constantly googling baby sites lest I do something wrong.<br />
Obviously there are nights when cries makes me wanna pull my hair out but otherwise I would be a happily babbling mom just to see her smile at me!<br />
PS: C<br />
orny as it may sound, I am sure all new moms out there agree tht their child has d most precious smile😁😊<br />
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-48677978306354813662014-11-18T00:28:00.000-08:002014-11-18T00:28:01.796-08:00Lies or is it truths?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We lie.We lie to each other about how it doesn't matter, we lie about how it doesn't change us, we lie about how we feel.We lie about everything. Do we lie to make ourselves feel better or do we lie to pretend all is well? Do we get sense of complacency when the world around us believe our lies?<br />
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Life without lies has become like a sea without salt. You don't know if it exist s or not. Lying makes you try to believe something you desperately want to believe but that doesn't make it the Truth. it just makes it a comfortable lie.<br />
YoU lie to yourself about how the hollow in your stomach is gonna disappear and how life is gonna be full again. YoU lie to yourself when you wake up in the morning about how today is gonna be different and how there's gonna be no lying, but even then you are just lying to yourself.<br />
Does it stop? Do u get back to being you with minimal lying? (I say minimum cause saying "no lying "would be a lie again) Do you learn how to let go? Do you learn to not lie to yourself? Do you learn how to live with the knowledge that no one is perfect and and all that you thought could have been you lying to yourself? How do you trust then? Or is that the truth you learn?</div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-42567611011459370362014-10-18T05:27:00.001-07:002014-10-18T05:27:04.914-07:00The curse of Ambition<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have reached a juncture of my life where within a year a lot of decisions have to be made. Unlike the usual obsessive planning I do for my life,thinking about the next couple of years gives me the creeps. Never has it been this confusing.When I was in tenth it was study for boards and get into ISC, when in 12th it was get good marks work for entrance and get into medicine.Every year from then on, was just study to get to next year.Then post MBBS it was entrance all over again but all those times there was never any major confusions regarding where I was heading towards. It was always working towards getting a good career & getting married to sam but now both are enroute, I have no worries that my dad is going to throw the gauntlet down and stop me form marrying sam (cause its already done and they seem to like him more than me these days :O :I)<br />
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But now i have so many options in front of me, staring at my eyes, willing me to pick one and not regret it for the rest of my life.Do i relax when this is over or do i work again for progressing my career, do i start a family or do i go get more training which i really want to do.Can i have kids but not feel guilty about going for work.Can i have it all?<br />
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How do i know what to pick,how do i kinow what is right? How can i be sure i am not going to regret my decision 10years later? I am 26 years old, doing post graduation,happily married and i still have no clue what to choose. Add to that the confusion of love vs familyvs career i really wish at times life would be simpler.Gone are the days when the most complicated decision i had to take was to study or not to study.<br />
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If I had been a less ambitious self i would have been more content, ready to adjust with whatever life throws me but sadly I am not,never have been. Neither am i the kind to let life pass by,ending up wherever it wishes to take me.The curse of ambition is upon me,never has it troubled me this much that i am obsessive(it obviously only troubles others )The next few years will see me either go abroad for training,or go with Sam and start working or maybe start a family or maybe all at once :D<br />
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Wait and Watch or rather Wait and Read, i promise you it ll be an interesting read :P<br />
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-67507268975603609962014-07-30T08:22:00.002-07:002014-07-30T08:22:53.485-07:00Definitely Wiser (i think! :D)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been a custom which i have set to write something in and around my birthday. NO it does not mean i am self obsessed (my detractors be warned :D) I am just the kind who likes birthdays.There are 2 kinds of people in the world, the first which includes yours truly is the kind who believes in celebrating birthdays, however old you become.How does it matter if u are 2yrs,6yrs,26yrs or 62 yrs?! Your birthday is and always will beYOUR birthday, even if no one else is happy about it, you should be celebrating the blessings you have with all pomp and glamour (doesn't that make an for excellent excuse for cutting cakes and getting gifts? :P)Not to forget, is the second kind which includes yours truly's TRULY(Duh' Sam u fools :P, my husband, for the even slower ones :D)who doesnt seem to want to make any deal out of his birthdays :O. But i can not obviously let that be, i do my part in doing something (it is never upto what i want it to be like, but he is like 3000miles away so it puts a damper on my efforts!)<br />
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Any way one more birthday has gone by(yes this time around also it was special :D) i think me getting married has only made more people have to do something about my birthday as i am like a spoilt child that way :D ( But only that way, otherwise i will have at least a few confirming that i am anything but spoilt :D)<br />
I am older, hopefully wiser,definitely married, and hoping to be better :-)<br />
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Life as it goes by makes you realize how lucky you are, i have wonderful parents who have made me who i am today (not that i am someone great :P but it could have been so much worse :P) i had a brother who treated me exactly like how younger sisters should be, i got lucky in the bestest of friends who have become like the sisters i never had (girls, my life wouldn't be the same without you people in it),i have been lucky to be loved and obviously still be loved ( Sam, dear u have no choice :P) a new set of parents who have made me their daughter and another brother for the one i couldn't appreciate enough for all of what he was.<br />
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Yeah birthdays make me sentimental and emotional (not that other occasions dont but birthdays are all about me :D)There s always a first in my birthdays,this one was the first since i got hitched, God knows what next year's first would be, hopefully it would the first since i passed my post graduate theory exams :D (if wishful thinking would pass me next year, i surely would :D)<br />
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They say when life gives you lemons,make lemonade BUT it has always given me lemonade so should i be making "my pink lady" or "purple rain" with it?? :D<br />
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PS: Sorry sangi for stealing your pic :D<br />
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-46675226818313302602014-05-09T07:53:00.000-07:002014-05-09T07:53:23.819-07:00Inspired and beyond..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In my 25 years of being a social bee ( regretfully i admit my vices :D) i have met umpteen number of people,Be it relatives,friends, parents of friends,acquaintances,teachers,random people(the list could go on for some time! i love talking to new people and obviously everyone likes me too :D) but never have i come across some one who has inspired me so much as i have been in the last one and half years. And u ask""pray what happened one and half years ago? i joined post grad (dude you should know that by now!! :D)<div>
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I have been inspired to learn, to be a better doctor and a better person as i have never been.A life spend without having met someone whom u adulate, with reason obviously ( i am obvously sensible!:D) is a life incomplete or so i feel now.The passion for knowledge, the commitment for work and the humility of his actions makes me a die hard fan.Rarely in life will you meet people of this genre, they are of a generation which is disappearing with the present, but when you do meet them,do not be an idiot.Learn from them, like u can know enough.</div>
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There are certain people in your life who change your perspective towards life. You look at awe at the magic in their hands, the hunger for knowledge in their eyes, the humor in their smiles and above all the patience with which they they deal with every aspect of their work.It seems unattainable to you the presence of mind with which they handle crises and to top it all off handle them with a grace which makes you believe that " touch of God" can be seen through human hands.</div>
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I have seen many a miracle in my last one and half years. the 4 year old who was dragged back from doors of heaven, the 18 year old who prolly saw lap of St.Peter and a multitude of other daily miracles.Their comes a situation in everyone's life where you ponder on your decisions which made you end up on the path you are right now, for me it was a golden chance which was thrown in my lap to be able to be inspired. I can say with surety that i have never loved medicine or what i do as much i do right now. I have met a teacher who guides me, teaches me and make me feel a respect and passion for what i do as never before.</div>
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I count myself lucky to be here today.I consider the status of being his student a pride and above all i consider myself lucky to have been motivated to try and be perfect at what you do not just today but everyday and that to with a smile. </div>
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-62423201659837317202014-04-11T07:07:00.000-07:002014-04-11T07:11:21.529-07:00Marriage-the new chapter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So like all the'brides to be'i was also terrified and a bag of nerves.Everone kept saying how Marriage is this BIG deal which changes your life overnight and makes your life totally different.I had been a happy & content girlfriend for 5 years and a fiancee' for a year after that.Obviously there were changes in my life since I started dating Sam 6 years ago and wasn't naive to think life would be the same as when I was 19 and when I am 25. All the changes in my life had been smooth like a calm ocean and there had been no waves to capsize my boat.Sam had become my steer on my boat and we had been sailing smoothly bar some ripples ofcourse. So what was this Tsuami everyone had been scaring me about? :O I had been a girl who was suddenly supposed to become a women overnight!<br />
I thought I was strong enough in adversities but marriage seemed like an unnecessary addition to my list of worries. The question of 'to do or not to do' passed fleetingly through my head but the eventuality of not being able to spend the rest of my life with Sam quickly threw that thought out of my head.So with much trepidation & tribulation I prepared for the D day.And beleive me I got enough time to obsess over it till i had convinced myself that the day was literally going to tilt my life and that I wold feel the earth shaking beneath my feet :P but when finally the big day did come,It flashed by in front of my eyes like it was happening to someone else. Before I knew it the knot was around my neck :P and i was still standing on level ground and i still felt exactly the same about myself as i had the yester night.<br />
Now 3 months older in marriage i still haven't gotten over the feeling that i am still single, not completely anyway.Maybe it stems from the fact that the husband & I (yep i have started calling him THE HUSAND :P)aren't living together yet, like most young doctor couples i know.Obviously there have been changes,i have a brand new home,new family and new bride tag (which i am not sure will ever leave!) all of which i am slowly getting used to.There have been no curve balls i couldnt handle, not yet anyway.<br />
Life is moving forward like it always did, I am no different , He is no different and our relationship is still pretty much the same.I have realised marriage is not that scary or may be i have been lucky.As is with every relationship Sam & mine have also entered this new phase of our being together and this beginning we are treading with cautious steps. We always knew being married to each other would come with its own changes and so far neither of us (i am hoping he doesnt disagree :P) have had any hitches which were worrisome.I am still the meddling, know it all, jealous-wife instead of girl friend and he is still the annoyingly calm, frustratingly considerate and irritatingly thoughtful-husband instead of boyfriend :D<br />
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teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-24988214093293033762013-12-18T04:46:00.000-08:002013-12-18T04:46:25.050-08:00The Serenity Prayer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In my dimly lit ICU of 16 beds,there is a bed no 6, Dont let the number fool you,its not further down in the list of sick patients.My most sick patient has been on that bed for the last 45days. If you could call anyone a sweet looking grandfatherly patient there would be none other. A 65 year old sweet gentleman was brought on ventillator and is being treated for severe breathing difficulty (ARDS for those who u know ;) ).he has been a picture of a strong willed, forward looking optimistic generation of people who are seen only by a handful in our generation(me included). For the last 40 days he has greeted every one with a smile in the morning,even with a hole in his throat to help him breath(trachestomy) with a ventillator and tube through his nose to feed him.He,a pediatrician by profession has been a resilient soul with an apology every morning for accidentally pulling out his feeding tube.None of the sisters mind that extra job because he is the kind of patient you want to look after. He is the kind of patient who's smile makes all your hard work at reaching there seem useful.Ever the picture of serenity he makes me wonder what a wonderful child docto<u>r</u> he must have been.<br />
<br />
We have been fighting a long and arduous struggle to make him go back to the wonderful pediatrician he was. Every day has thrown a new curveball which seemed harder than the last to treat.<br />
There is something to learn from every patient you see,that is what makes you a better doctor and a better person, BUT he has been teaching more than one lesson,be it the courage you can show in adversity or the resilience of the human soul.<br />
<br />
It had almost seemed like we were winning. He had reached a point where he could sit and talk to his sweet wife.You could see the love and concern between them and be amazed at the warmth and love that was so palpably there.It was the kind of relationship i would want have with my husband after 40years of married life.<br />
<br />
BUT almost was all we ever reached at. For the last 5 days he has been on a downward spiral with nothing going for him,least of it being his lungs.The battle is still being fought,but this time with an inner feeling of desolation.This juncture is where i am not so sure anymore, whether all human efforts, which we strive for while treating someone, is keeping him bound to earth for just our own peace of mind.<br />
Have we reached a point where we are making him suffer more than we are helping him? But then who are we to make that kind of choices? When should we think that enough is enough?And when is it morally and ethically right to say do not do any more?<br />
<br />
With just 2 years of experience on trying to be a clinician i am probably the lowest in the rung of ladder to be making any of these decisions or choices but i hope that when i reach a point in my life when i shall be the one calling the shots,i know how to.<br />
This prayer is the one request i have..<br />
<br />
GOD grant me<br />
the serenity to accept the things i cannot change<br />
the courage to change the things i can AND<br />
the wisdom to know the difference..<br />
<br /></div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-69734795147473676322013-12-13T08:36:00.002-08:002013-12-13T08:36:44.288-08:00Begrudgingly from Ms. to Mrs.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For those who still find the patience to read my online rants, here goes another ONE :P<br />
<br />
You know, i think, when i am content in life i don't do online ranting which makes my EPICS of prose more sporadic than it is :D. I have not blogged in more than 6 months, which was when i was about to get engaged, NOW i am about to get married.<br />
<br />
Please do NOT think my LIFE is only my LOVE LIFE,That would be the last assumption i want you to have.<br />
<br />
These last few weeks of bachelorhood (or is it bachelorette-hood?) is making me reminiscent of last few years of being single.Good years i have had. Enlightened education (manipalites know what i am talking about :P)financial freedom, awesome freinds,life in a city away from home and considerate parents are the incredients of the recipe i prescribe for an awesome early 20's.<br />
<br />
You have not been lucky( or not lucky as i have been ;) ) if You Have not -<br />
<br />
1. Seen a second show movie with your girl friends.<br />
2. Had a midnight drive on the high way with your besites and 3am meal from city.<br />
3. Gone Bar hopping.period.(elaborations would be tricky :P)<br />
4. Blown exorbitant amonut of money away on shoes without regret.<br />
5. Had A picnic, by the beach, with awesome weather.<br />
6. Gone Bird watching in the mall. (who says only guys do it? :P)<br />
7.Haven't been broke by the end of the month and still wondering where all the money went :P<br />
8.Told a white lie to get out of work to go out with friends :P<br />
9.Unabashedly made use of your female wiles to get things done ;)<br />
10.last not but the least had a passionate love affair :P<br />
<br />
<br />
PS: Those who are planning on judging me,judge away,least do i care :P<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-36591083284631374962013-04-03T10:48:00.002-07:002013-04-03T10:48:25.779-07:00my ray of sunshine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
hey, so i know its been a while since i wrote anything to anyone but lets just say i have been swamped with work like crazy.when you are learning on your feet on how not to kill someone you kinda lose focus on anything else. it obviously helps that i love what i am learning and doing.<br />
<br />
BUT,<br />
<br />
I thought maybe i should put a pause on it and just enjoy the moment, what if it passes and life crashes around me and then i regret that i didnt take this moment to enjoy it.<br />
<br />
for anyone who s still in the dark, i am getting ENGAGED!!!<br />
<br />
after a long and relatively drama free relationship we have decided (Actually he didn't have much of a choice in the matter :D) to make it legal with a ring and all :D<br />
<br />
I am usually not very vocal about my relationship other than the fact that i am in one ( even though usually u have to ask me to keep shut once i start talking :D ) but once u take a look back and realize how lucky you have been in love, u wanna pen it down, if not for anything to make sure the love doesn't get faded by the trappings of every day life and u remember it for what it is.<br />
<br />
Meeting "him" was an accident of life.deciding to go ahead and have a first date was all thanks to the push by my two favorite people(who will obviously be bridesmaids at my wedding ;)) and the rest of the five years has been, i guess ,a little bit of both of us.some times him more and i d like to believe sometimes me more :D<br />
<br />
looking back on that fateful "Utsav" ( thts where we met :D) if i had gone by my usual cautiousness and irritation on him being late, my life would have been completely different story to tell There has been times in my life when my support system,my punching bag,career guide and so much more that after this long its impossible to imagine what i would have done if my gals hadnt given me a push at the library fountain that day (metaphorically ofcourse!)<br />
<br />
And no,this is not me being a gooey romantic who s nauseating to be around (i wouldnt know how to be one :D) this is me being realistic and stating facts for what it is. :P maybe 5 years down the lane i might need this to jog my memory(probabaly to decide against strangling him ;)) or maybe i wont but even then it ll be good nostalgic read.<br />
<br />
anyway<br />
happy annieversary to me, its been 5 yrs this month :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-89387576000079759532012-12-09T06:17:00.001-08:002012-12-09T06:17:25.179-08:00Falling in love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Falling in love is a beautiful feeling.Yes people its probably the oldest cliché in the world but I cant help it ,I didn’t say it first and there is no rule that I cant repaeat it :D I am back after so long so obviously I am rusty and u guys have to give me a break! First of all I had so much going on in my life that I had no time to sit and relax with a peaceful mind and obviously therefore no time to eat all your heads with my entertaining non sense :D (yes I know its nonsense,but dude you are reading it so obviously u have as much free time as I do :D)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There, I went rambling off from the topic of discussion again, I really should get tested for ADHD! ( for all those sane people who didn chose to suffer with medicine as a career,its attention deficit disorder :D ) sigh to have ambition is a folly one realizes way too late in life :P yes,were were we? Love.. it happens to you before you know it has happened,it makes you so happy that you are smiling all the time,there s a skip to your step,a twinkle in your eye and makes you probably obnoxious to be around if you don’t have my sunny disposition :P</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t get me wrong, you ll have sleepless nights from wondering if you are doing anything wrong,your poor friends will suffer bouts of your angry outburst at your see sawing moods and u ll generally be a bore to live with not to mention you will constantly look horrible all thanks to your baggy eyes but yes still with a twinkle ofcourse :P</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your love is what keeps your life interesting,you are constantly striving to be better than you are. You wanna keep your own individuality while learning to be a new you.you make leaps and bounds in your life with faith by your side.faith in something bigger and something better than life.some people call it GOD, I call it faith.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
WHICH Is why am so glad I have realised my love is what I wanna be with for the rest of my life.ANESTHESIA!! I cant help it if any of you guys got the wrong idea!! :P yes I have joined for a career which I am sure is going to make my life interesting, haapier and prolly more enjoyable.yes I ll have sleepless nights, I ll be on my toes and the constant adrenaline rush is prolly gone be the end of my sanity, but what the hell I was never one for easy uncomplicated life anyway :P</div>
</div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-84554271446747973072012-08-26T12:29:00.001-07:002012-08-26T12:29:43.218-07:00Wedding Day ;)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any girl or atleast any near normal girl dreams of her
wedding day. Yes it’s cliché but there s something fairy tale like to be the Queen
of the day. You look your best, wear the best and you are waited on hand &
foot by everyone. She will have to come back to the real world soon enough,
with probably worry in her eyes, than stars, about being in the new house with
new responsibility and new people, but for that day she almost forgets anything
but the dream like effect of being the “glowing” bride.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ERR.. u must be wondering why I am almost mooning :D well of
course I am normal(almost),if my mother is to be believed I demanded white
wedding gown and shiny diamond necklace when I was just over 5,decided on the
place of my wedding by the time I was ten :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NO I am not getting married,atleast not today :D (I haven’t found
anyone willing enough to marry me rite this week, not even this year!:P)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am 24(25 according to my dad s convoluted calculations :O)so
I am allowed to be pining for MY big day but if marriage was only for the
wedding day I would have been a little more excited (yes its possible for me to
be more excited!) but I don’t think HE will be willing to let me off the hook
once HE has decided to jump into the madness of marrying me :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, whenever I am getting married I ll make sure I let
all of you know if my dreams were overrated or not ;) it being a once in a life
time thing and all!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the mean time could some of you out there get married?!
(and ofcourse invite me too :D) it gives you a chance to have YOUR big day and
me a chance to see close at hand what the big deal, I have been making, is
about! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the moment I have googled wedding gowns and sarees, so
before I go ahead and start demanding what gifts I want(of course u have to
bring me gifts :P) get married yourself :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also I am feeling self pity in oodles about being alone for
onam not having ANY friends or family
around EVEN THOUGH I am rite here in kerala!!!! So you are doing a good deed by
reading about my whims and fancies. It can be your good deed of the day!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS: I knew the title would have made you curious as to IF I am
getting married or not,(peopleare generally nosy :D) sorry to disappoint you :P
anything for more readers :D</div>
</div>
teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-24323475753401749712012-08-05T08:59:00.001-07:002012-08-05T08:59:54.347-07:00And then i lost it again..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I lost it again! U wouldn’t believe the number of
times I have had to count to ten to stop screaming. Well actually anyone who
has known me long enough will have no trouble believing it at all :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep a very short fuse of a temper is one of my long list of
vices, I think it should come on the top of the list or maybe 2<sup>nd</sup>,(
first being unbelievably nosy :D) In my defense I always think I am the victim,
when I get carried away with my anger management issues. It is essentially me
only who ends up feeling bad or embarrassed or both and has to apologize! (ouch!
That might sound like a defense only in my head :O)but seriously I am sure
there are kindered souls out there who agree with me when I say it’s usually
not my fault :D also believe me when I say that you would rather have me drain
my anger than keep it in cause I am beautifully talented at being mean too :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like I have said before I am very enthusiastic about
everything I do, my temper tantrums being no exception :D my sweet sunny
disposition, :P, is often run to havoc with the umpteen number of miscreants
out in the wide world. You would be quite surprised as to how much & how fast I get mad in a matter of
minutes and then once some poor soul has gotten the brunt of it,I go back to
being my happy self, but of course always remorseful,in a matter of seconds
even!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I was growing up and still in school I think everyone
might have gotten a teeny part of my tantrums (hopefully none of u remember or
keep a grudge :O),I would like to believe that as I grew up I finally learnt to
curb it though of course not fully :D but then believe me when I say if I have’nt
gotten mad at you at least once I probably don’t like you that much :P</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well of course these days I have pretty much settled down to
being happy and I d like to believe new people I meet would be shocked to hear
that I have a fiery temper (or would they be? :O :D)To come back to the situation where I lost it again, I truly
believe (as usual :D) that THIS TIME it was actually not my fault :D I might
get a few disagreements on that, but my blog so my truth :D<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyLj6moikBcz8oYJy586pzCgv3yFo-whnPgS8IgLGPdHLdyIveFEHLYXnbLAQC-50n2dTA9LgjuzBkQkbWENgOdGWm6DKawVBDJVviA1I4yiQvwJWsbOsdV4sPDJyaQ97s9bYW/s1600/DSC00171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyLj6moikBcz8oYJy586pzCgv3yFo-whnPgS8IgLGPdHLdyIveFEHLYXnbLAQC-50n2dTA9LgjuzBkQkbWENgOdGWm6DKawVBDJVviA1I4yiQvwJWsbOsdV4sPDJyaQ97s9bYW/s320/DSC00171.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
PS: when this photo was being taken i was NOT angry and i am not trying to kill my room mate though she says to the contrary, question is do u wanna risk it and get me mad? :P</div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-66917949111166615022012-07-15T10:55:00.001-07:002012-07-15T10:56:10.704-07:00A Proposal,An Exotic Dancer & a tryst with religion.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
10 months later is not the perfect time to write a
travelogue,especially for someone like me who is blessed with a short memory
span(forgetfulness makes me less nastier to the world :D) but to tell the
truth,it never even occurred to me that my ten days and 11 nights, or wait was
it the other way?, in a foreign land is all I needed to think of for
inspiration to blabber like usual.Now thtat I know there are a few of you out
there who read this nonsense without me having to force them :D(my blog view is
999!,yes I know I am gloating but hey, every girl is allowed her moment of ‘head
in the clouds’)is good wnough
encouragement for me to continue to drone on!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first passport stamps,my first international flights,my first soujourn out of the country,that trip had lots of firsts for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes its
sadly true that the first person to ask my hand in marriage to my parents was
actually a very charming Israel-ian shop keeper :D the fact that I steadfastly refused
to spare my dollars must have made him realize I am a catch ;) anyway, the 18yr
old super model look alikes on the streets with machine guns and impecaably
maintained roads,tall rising buildings,beautifully maintained historical sites
were not exactly what I had in mind when I thought if Israel. To say I was
surprised with the friendliness the people showed to tourists would be an
understatement. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My parents have made me (yes it was made me,I used to hate Sundays!)
go to church since before I can remember,but when you do something all your
life u continue doing it without any pressure,I guess that's why they say u grow
in faith ;) but to actually see the places where jesus was
born,raised,taught,crucified opens your faith up in totally new and brighter
way. To be actually on Gailelea sea, to actually eat Peter’s fish,to feel the
cold of the marble on which he was laid to rest after crucification is all an
experience which I would recommend to any half- doubting Christians out there <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those who have
had the pleasure (or pain,depending on who s looking :D )of seeing me talk or
have a conversation about something I feel strongly feel about (be it happiness
or anger or frustration or sadness)will know what iam talking about when I say I
need gestures and expressions to actually make you realize what I am trying to
say :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh yes,I haven’t forgotten the exotic dancer ;) when you go to Egypt,that
too especially, on a package tour you are bound to have an exotic dancer with Arabian
music. What would be surpsrisin to you guys out there was that she was atleast
in her late 30s and not exactly thin and also that her husband was dancing with her
:D so watching our poor mallu mummies and daddies (didn I mention in a grp of
28 there were only 3 of below 50?!!!) get hot with embarrassment and look away
was more funny than actually seein the ‘belly dance’. The best of that night
was the 79yr grandpa who danced with her while all the mothers thought they d
rather be in hell right then than in Holy Land ;)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS- The rooms I got to stay in and continental break fast I had
every day made me rethink whether to run away with the Israeli shop keeper
after all also ;) </div>
</div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-24477885073116361052012-06-24T07:41:00.001-07:002012-06-24T07:41:33.754-07:00Confessions of a serial dietess<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyone who has seen me will can vouch for my article :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have always been of more than average height for a girl to
be called outright fat but have had enough on me till 3 yrs ago to be called
more than chubby. Of course this is not to say I was someone who was happy with
the excess I had on me but then was always too lazy to do anything about it :D
my dad had this standing joke from probably when I was 15 or so about how I wouldn’t
fit through a door by the time I turned 35 :O. none of what my dad said could
budge me to do anything about it and anyway it’s my dad, I knew he was kidding
(didn’t i? :D)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well all that kind of changed 3yrs ago. I guess I could put
the blame on 2 very special people. They had their own reasons but I would not
have done a thing to change till I myself came to that conclusion by myself.(
Sam can vouch for how much time it takes to convince me of something :D) but anyway
3 yrs and almost 10 kg lesser I am glad I made the change :D this is not to say
it was easy at any point and sometimes I myself wonder how I did it :O I don’t think
I can do it again and I am hoping I don’t ever have to!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am sharing a few things which I found out myself</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1.if you don’t yourself want the change or in any corner of
your mind think that u look the fine the way you are then just be happy and go
on living :D I can tell you that once you make the change its like an addiction
or obsession you ll never want out and believe me it is worse for people around
you :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. if you have some streak of obsession within you good for
you :D (bad for others! :P) akshara can vouch what you starving voluntarily
does to your room mate but you need someone like her who won’t judge your obsessions,
but not support it strongly, cause then you are going to end up with much
needed therapy :P</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3.”i am hungry, I am hungry I am hungry” this thought goes around your head 24/7 if u don’t
think u can handle it quit while u can and nobody, especially me, is going to
think any lesser of you! God knows how many times I have wanted to tell myself
to stop with the obsessions</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4.if u like hearing nice things u ll never want to stop :D I
remember the no of I times I was told “OMG,u have lost so much weight, you are looking nice
now” and me thinking “dude, you never told me I don’t otherwise! :D”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. anyone who has ever told you this is easy and its only
hard in the first few months are LYING!! It never gets easier, first u are
always hungry, then you are depressed that your weighing scale is your biggest critic,
then you are happy on exercise endorphins and of course the compliments and
then comes the worst part, constant obsession about whether you are going to
gain all that back. And that obsession never leaves you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. if you are someone who loves (everyone likes them) chocolates,
ice creams or sweets, then I suggest, you don’t bother. Why make yourself unhappy
:D life is meant for pleasures and if yours are them you can do without trying
on that really sexy dress :D</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7.also be ready to hear “omg u lost so much weight what
happened?” from your family (in my case excluding my dad, but even he told me
one day enough of losing :D ) and then think in your head or say it out loud
depending on how your relationships go “u think it was easy and it just
happened?!! :O”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8. but I can tell you this, when you get to a point that you
know you dont have that much excess on you, you will be extremely proud of what
you have managed to do and more than any one around you,you will appreciate it
just because now, u know u can. It brings
to you a self confidence you never knew you didn’t have and makes you much more
willing to try more things in life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Disclaimer: all the weight I
lost was with healthy diet and exercise and have never tried starving
excessively (obviously I was hungry all the time in the beginning cause I had
been eating too much for 21 yrs) drugs, binging or purging! (dude,I should know
not to do tht, I am a DOCTOR!!<o:p></o:p></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>AND yes i stole the headning,so sew me! :D</u></div>
</div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-88849505827687157752012-06-09T09:00:00.000-07:002012-06-09T09:00:26.915-07:00unconditional love-myth or mystery ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><i>the title itself is way too serious for my easy go lucky blog of mine ( so i believe) but its something i have contemplated quite a few times,more times confusedly than anything and wondered if i was the only one around who thought unconditional love was just a word of stories and movies.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
<b><i> This thought,before any of u jump to conclusions,does NOT come from any cynicism or any less faith in love. For those who know me and those who dont, let me tell you i am a really BIG romantic , yes i love mushy movies,grand gestures,feel good books (roomie dear, vouch for me :D) and am strong advocator of being happily in love. i have been loved and cared for, and with gods grace, never ever been unlucky in any kind of love. </i></b><br />
<b><i>i am excluding parents from this equation when i doubt unconditional love (my mother must have unconditional love for forgiving the THINGS i did,do and will do :D) </i></b><br />
<b><i>but when i think about love,i have always understood of myself that i put effort,time and care into a reltionship (of whatever kind it may be) when i feel or know that the emotions are reciprocated..does that make me totally and unforgiveably selfish or does it just make me human? I remember someone saying only unconditional love brings true joy,i respectfully disagree. anyone who knows me would cateogrise me as a generally happy, bordering on hypomania, entity only (yes i have my moments of neuroticism) </i></b><br />
<b><i>Is it self preservation which makes me give back what i know for sure is returned ? Is it not more hurtful or saddening to be in unconditional love?How does any one not expect anything at all from the one you love? Be it loyalty or commitment or for that matters that the feelings be returned? doets tha not that make it conditional? when we expect something, how can we be happy when we are disappointed? to my thought process it will just make u miserable! </i></b><br />
<b><i>anyone who had read the fountainhead might relate to me a little more, it was like a REVELATION!</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
<b><i>for anyone who has any thoughts to share,i am willing to listen :D</i></b></div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-86827825841957879372012-06-05T11:10:00.001-07:002012-06-05T11:10:20.077-07:00To long frienships..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am 23 and ¾ th yrs old. U would think I am too young to
know some one for 14 yrs but apparently not!Friendships you make when you are
ten are not suppsed to last till you are 24,nobody would fault you for losing
touch or not having the same depth as before.But I can confidently say I have
known N for 14 yrs with the same depth of friendship as we shared when we were ten.
Anybody who knows us would say we are as
different as friends go,for two people who really only studied together for 2
yrs and that too when we were 10 and 11yrs, we have stuck it out. We have seen so
much of each others life it would be a sin if we lose touch after these long 14
yrs and believe me I don’t think we will!Its not like we were in the same town
while in college and hence it was easy or anything like that. She was in kerala
I was in manipal,she is in blore am in kerala.scenes have changed people have
changed but fate has kept us close.i believe there is always a situation in
your life when the presence of only a particular person in your life can make
you move on.I am sure when need be,if it ever comes,she ll be there if I want
her to be there for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This post is not supposed to be about how I have been lucky in
friendship,well I am not sure about what
this post is supposed to be about, but today I realised 14yrs is not as long as
it seems. I say out loud 14yrs and it seems like a life time but I remember it
as yesterday being the new girl in school out to make friends.Anyhow anyone who says friendships are hard to
maintain when you are far apart is saying the truth. I have had countless
number of friends in school and more recently in college but most friendships
seem to fade away with time.Its not because we don’t wanna be friends anymore,
its not even because we are too busy, I haven pin pointed on why some
friendships get stronger while some blend into your memories-good memories.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On a more larger philosophical note,why do we have all these
friends? Anyway, one day (not too soon hopefully) we fade away into nothingness
and all that remains of us are a few memories in some hearts. I guess all we
can do with whatever life we end up, is to make sure we have people around us
who genuinely care for our annoying overbearing true selves we hide inside
those cheerful charming smiles.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy birthday N.may you have many more happy ones.love you</div>
</div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-6725145204541242642012-06-03T06:15:00.001-07:002012-06-03T06:15:40.181-07:00Chasing my dreams<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><i>i remember being told, or was it among those things we just know but dont know how exactly we know,that speaking out loud what u dearly want could jinx it.Its probably one of those old wives tales which i would'n pay any attention to until its about something i want :D Anyway this is very important to me,this will shape out what i do for the rest of my life starting next year SO i am not taking any chances.Yes its obviously about what post graduation i am hoping to get into and anyone who has talked to me recently is already aware of it but sending it out into the big bad world seems like bad karma! </i></b><br />
<b><i>I started out,in school, wanting to be Dr.Teena, IAS.(yes it sounds cool!) Somewhere along the journey to get those prefixes the dream changed from those post fixes. lets say it had to do with long hours spend cramming,some precious moments u experience with those prefixes and changes in priority which happens when life becomes happier.(not that i was unhappy before!) So it changed,now i dream about Dr.Teena, MD.(yes even that sounds cool) Do i think i can do it? most of the times "yes",sometimes"maybe" and sometimes" i hope so"!</i></b><br />
<b><i>This year is going to be a roller coaster ride with emotions running high and low with the hopes of seeing light at the end of the tunnel. To all those whom i am going to annoy with my constant complaining and cribbing,i apologise in advance, to all those who still lend me their kind ears i am going to be eternally grateful..</i></b><br />
<b><i>Nothing is going to be simple this year..</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b><br />
<b><i>But then what s the fun in a simple life? :D</i></b></div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-81959822169111189852012-05-29T12:20:00.000-07:002012-05-29T12:20:16.746-07:00forward i go..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i am not even sure anyone reads the random ravings of <i>MOI but it gives me intense satisafaction to think i have a wide and varied audience who patiently reads through my ramblings and hopefully it brings on their(atelast on 1) faces a smile, if that happen s i d say my job here( though i have been absconding for mooooonttthhs) is DONE!</i><br />
<i>anyway laziness plus too many things happening but none of significane can be blamed on these rare appaearances. so i make no promises that i ll follow through with this one and become a prmanent blogger (ppl would prolly thank me for tht :D)</i><br />
<i>anyway for anyone who hasn been updated on my change of scene, i finished mbbs,house surgeoncy,graduation,8 unsuccesful entrance exams(no it doesnt make me pathetic :D),shifted bases to thrissur,started work(hard earned money has its own value :D) and am hoping to sudy study and study this year in hopes of cracking the 9th exam!!</i><br />
<i>even though blogging is supposed to be open your soul kinda thing me being an extremely private person ( ignore the blabbering ) will privately enlighten anyone intersted (obviously not everyone) in the rest of my life happenings :D. apparently 12.48 am in the morning is not exactly the time to look for inspiration.</i><br />
<i>ciao </i><br />
<i>i ll hopefully be back :D( yes hopes of mine and not urs :P )</i></div>teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29432504.post-45985357496489807372011-08-24T20:32:00.000-07:002011-08-24T20:46:09.464-07:00OF A DAY IN EMERGENCY..I woke up with a start at 7.45am,i was so LATE!! I was supposed to be in hospital at 8 and that too for DMO(duty medical officer) and of all the days i had to tak an early morning shower to make sure i dont wanna rip my skin out of being in hospital for 24 hrs without seein outside sun and after being in all the wierd smells possible!!!
<br />i rush and am here by 8.15 and everythng seems to be going slow & stable,just 2 patients-1, 54 yr old with cough & fever with creps & xray that even i can diagnose as pneumonia and 1 18yr old gal who s prolly having an anxiety attack cause of an exam.lets see what my day has in hold for me.if i get a chance to blog again that mean i am way too relaxed!! lets hope i do!! :D
<br />teena12ahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08742130294792813515noreply@blogger.com0