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The other side

Its not often that we, as a medical fraternity deal with our own loved ones as patients. We see so many patients and relatives every day that it seldom strikes us that it could be us in their places too. Most of the days ,we deal with the frustrations of irritable by- standers, over concerned parents as well as children that their worries fail to register with us in time. We become concerned with treating the patients and not much else. It is probably a self protective mechanism we develop over years, otherwise who wants to be so emotionally attached to each patient that each of their inevitable ends(which might have been prolonged by us) leave us emotionally scarred each time around. And our psyches aren’t meant to take that much damage, so it comes naturally to us that we distance ourselves from their fears,turn a blind eye to their tears and we learn to be matter of fact and move on,  because , self preservation is an art which medicos learn without ever having to be taught. The
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Moving on..

Moving on has been always reasonably easy for me. Be it changing schools from a small city to big one or going for college in a different state and that too to a place like manipal or leaving  manipal after 5years to come back to another different city in kerala  to study more. Never have I had doubts about friends and family I am leaving behind cause I knew I would always love and be in touch with people I really wanted to and the new place always excited me about the new possibilities new people and the yet another fresh start. But when you become a mom I realise lot changes. You are concerned or nail bitingly worried about how SHE is going to be.You are worried if, choosing the betterment of your career comes at a price you might not have expected or been willing to pay if you had realized earlier. But concerns aside,  moving on is something everyone has to do whether we are so bogged down by the situation that we don't wanna move, or not. You always have to go ahead in life,
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Random musings of a confused soul

2018, I know,  is gonna bring me a lot of tests and tribulations I am not sure I am ready to deal with yet. You plan something  and then a higher power decides, "let's change the game". 2017 had lots of ups and downs. Sad thing is, you  remember the downs more clearly than you do the ups. You remember when and how you have been let down by people better than how they came through. You pretend you don't but you do! Each and every day as you grow older you realise the time which has been given to us is transient. You are here today and tomorrow you aren't, how do you make your life count then? The plans you so diligently make all seem so superfluous in the face of reality. How you choose to remain when the truth dawns on you  is totally upto you,  make most of each day or be angry about the time you might or might not get. You realise the most important people in your life are the ones who let you down the most but u slap a bandage over the wound and pray it hol
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A few life realisations of a 1 year old mom!

As my beautiful  (yes my eyes might be tinted for my little one but lots agree with me!😆) daughter turns one soon, I cannot believe i am repeating the cliche of time has flown !(is that even a word? 🤔) I have learnt quite a few things by myself in addition to the thousand things told and taught by  my mom's! (Yes i have 2, both are at times annoying and frustrating but when are moms not?😐) So getting back to baby realisations- 1.yes as everyone knows but doesnt believe till it happens to them,your baby makes you mushy beings who coo and ahh at each sound they make,each step they take,each smile they give and what nots! 2. Babies are wiley if you didn't know,they know how exactly to wrap you  around their fingers, they ll have you buttered up with their toothless smiles and if that doesnt work there s the all time favourite high pitched yelling till they get that phone in their hand! 3. This i had read somewhere but i am reinforcing strongly-donot look into their e
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A moment of introspection

Life has and ,I guess, always will be a mixed bag of surprises,some happy, some  sad but never boring. I have been surprised at the curveballs it's thrown my way ,as if to check whether I am still in the game. Thankfully I still am. Thinking back everything seems like a pre- written step towards something. I am not sure where it is supposed to lead or how I am supposed to make a difference but as usual I have been more or less happily going with the flow. Things have happened in my life which makes me constantly feel that someone is looking out for me. Be it ending up in manipal(which even with the fees only was not easy  for my parents to afford), meeting my friends turned soul sisters(sanity was their department ),meeting sam,losing my brother(an irreplaceable loss), marrying sam (who has become my pillar of support strength annoyance and irritation all combined in one) falling in love with anaesthesia, getting to study under an awe inspiring teacher, pregnancy, exams, court,ex
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Soul Sisters

There are lots of thing I want for my baby girl.But one thing I hope she ll get while she is growing up are friends who are almost better than family.Her mom won't always be able to relate to her. The age gap of 27 years becomes a generation gap long before anyone realises it, there will be a time when she listen to her friends more than to her family and to be blessed with a good lot is discovery I hope she makes. Be it in school or college or work she will always meet new people but only a handful become so entwined in your life that when something eventful happens in your life u wanna share it asap, it does not matter that u may be miles apart but they are never far away from your thoughts You will fight,laugh,cry, party and share secrets with them which you will never tell your mother. I hope, dear daughter, that you are as lucky as I have been. Soul sisters of mine, aunties of hers, be around ,be connected,tell her things I probably never can, pamper her like I would and
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From career girl to babbling mom!

It s been a really long while since I posted anything. It obviously doesn't mean nothing has been happening, it just means I have been procrastinating as usual, with the tomorrow coming today, after one and half years! But then, if I post everyday you guys would get bored right? 😄 So to give a brief synopsis of what happenedo far, I gave my theory exams in june,got pregnant in July, vomited my guts out from July to January and then finally pushed her out on March 6th. Obviously I wasn't the glowing happy mom- to- be. I, err, was a little less than ecstatic when the stick turned pink ( do not judge me O mom s out there or if u do don't let me know, I could be vicious and blame it on post partum depression -which I was sure I'd have but turned out I didn't 😆) Anyway to no surprise to me and lots to Sam (my significant other if u guys had forgotten) I had no maternal instincts whatsoever,  while I was pregnant, to the point that I was worried whether I'd get
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