dreams of a life time

Falling in love is a beautiful feeling.Yes people its probably the oldest cliché in the world but I cant help it ,I didn’t say it first and there is no rule that I cant repaeat it :D I am back after so long so obviously I am rusty and u guys have to give me a break! First of all I had so much going on in my life that I had no time to sit and relax with a peaceful mind and obviously therefore no time to eat all your heads with my entertaining non sense :D (yes I know its nonsense,but dude you are reading it so obviously u have as much free time as I do :D) There, I went rambling off  from the topic of discussion again, I really should get tested for ADHD! ( for all those sane people who didn chose to suffer with medicine as a  career,its attention deficit disorder :D ) sigh to have ambition is a folly one realizes way too late in life :P yes,were were we? Love.. it happens to you before you know it has happened,it makes you so happy that you are smiling all the time,there s a skip

Any girl or atleast any near normal girl dreams of her wedding day. Yes it’s cliché but there s something fairy tale like to be the Queen of the day. You look your best, wear the best and you are waited on hand & foot by everyone. She will have to come back to the real world soon enough, with probably worry in her eyes, than stars, about being in the new house with new responsibility and new people, but for that day she almost forgets anything but the dream like effect of being the “glowing” bride. ERR.. u must be wondering why I am almost mooning :D well of course I am normal(almost),if my mother is to be believed I demanded white wedding gown and shiny diamond necklace when I was just over 5,decided on the place of my wedding by the time I was ten :D NO I am not getting married,atleast not today :D (I haven’t found anyone willing enough to marry me rite this week, not even this year!:P) I am 24(25 according to my dad s convoluted calculations :O)so I am allowed to be pini

And then I lost it again! U wouldn’t believe the number of times I have had to count to ten to stop screaming. Well actually anyone who has known me long enough will have no trouble believing it at all :D Yep a very short fuse of a temper is one of my long list of vices, I think it should come on the top of the list or maybe 2 nd ,( first being unbelievably nosy :D) In my defense I always think I am the victim, when I get carried away with my anger management issues. It is essentially me only who ends up feeling bad or embarrassed or both and has to apologize! (ouch! That might sound like a defense only in my head :O)but seriously I am sure there are kindered souls out there who agree with me when I say it’s usually not my fault :D also believe me when I say that you would rather have me drain my anger than keep it in cause I am beautifully talented at being mean too :D Like I have said before I am very enthusiastic about everything I do, my temper tantrums being no exception :D

10 months later is not the perfect time to write a travelogue,especially for someone like me who is blessed with a short memory span(forgetfulness makes me less nastier to the world :D) but to tell the truth,it never even occurred to me that my ten days and 11 nights, or wait was it the other way?, in a foreign land is all I needed to think of for inspiration to blabber like usual.Now thtat I know there are a few of you out there who read this nonsense without me having to force them :D(my blog view is 999!,yes I know I am gloating but hey, every girl is allowed her moment of ‘head in the clouds’)is good wnough  encouragement for me to continue to drone on! My first passport stamps,my first international flights,my first soujourn out of the country,that trip had lots of firsts for me. Yes its sadly true that the first person to ask my hand in marriage to my parents was actually a very charming Israel-ian shop keeper :D the fact that I steadfastly refused to spare my dollars must

Anyone who has seen me will can vouch for my article :D I have always been of more than average height for a girl to be called outright fat but have had enough on me till 3 yrs ago to be called more than chubby. Of course this is not to say I was someone who was happy with the excess I had on me but then was always too lazy to do anything about it :D my dad had this standing joke from probably when I was 15 or so about how I wouldn’t fit through a door by the time I turned 35 :O. none of what my dad said could budge me to do anything about it and anyway it’s my dad, I knew he was kidding (didn’t i? :D) Well all that kind of changed 3yrs ago. I guess I could put the blame on 2 very special people. They had their own reasons but I would not have done a thing to change till I myself came to that conclusion by myself.( Sam can vouch for how much time it takes to convince me of something :D) but anyway 3 yrs and almost 10 kg lesser I am glad I made the change :D this is not to say it

the title itself is way too serious for my easy go lucky blog of mine ( so i believe) but its something i have contemplated quite a few times,more times confusedly than anything and wondered if i was the only one around who thought unconditional love was just a word of stories and movies.  This thought,before any of u jump to conclusions,does NOT come from any cynicism or any less faith in love. For those who know me and those who dont, let me tell you i am a really BIG romantic , yes i love mushy movies,grand gestures,feel good books (roomie dear, vouch for me :D) and am strong advocator of being happily in love. i have been loved and cared for, and with gods grace, never ever been unlucky in any kind of love.  i am excluding parents from this equation when i doubt unconditional love (my mother must have unconditional love for forgiving the THINGS i did,do and will do :D)  but when i think about love,i have always understood of myself that i put effort,time and care into a reltio

I am 23 and ¾ th yrs old. U would think I am too young to know some one for 14 yrs but apparently not!Friendships you make when you are ten are not suppsed to last till you are 24,nobody would fault you for losing touch or not having the same depth as before.But I can confidently say I have known N for 14 yrs with the same depth of friendship as we shared when we were ten. Anybody  who knows us would say we are as different as friends go,for two people who really only studied together for 2 yrs and that too when we were 10 and 11yrs, we have stuck it out. We have seen so much of each others life it would be a sin if we lose touch after these long 14 yrs and believe me I don’t think we will!Its not like we were in the same town while in college and hence it was easy or anything like that. She was in kerala I was in manipal,she is in blore am in kerala.scenes have changed people have changed but fate has kept us close.i believe there is always a situation in your life when the presenc

i remember being told, or was it among those things we just know but dont know how exactly we know,that speaking out loud what u dearly want could jinx it.Its probably one of those old wives tales which i would'n pay any attention to until its about something i want :D Anyway this is very important to me,this will shape out what i do for the rest of my life starting next year SO i am not taking any chances.Yes its obviously about what post graduation i am hoping to get into and anyone who has talked to me recently is already aware of it but sending it out into the big bad world seems like bad karma!  I started out,in school, wanting to be Dr.Teena, IAS.(yes it sounds cool!) Somewhere along the journey to get those prefixes the dream changed from those post fixes. lets say it had to do with long hours spend cramming,some precious moments u experience with those prefixes and changes in priority which happens when life becomes happier.(not that i was unhappy before!) So it changed,n

i am not even sure anyone reads the random ravings of MOI but it gives me intense satisafaction to think i have a wide and varied audience who patiently reads through my ramblings and hopefully it brings on their(atelast on 1) faces a smile, if that happen s i d say my job here( though i have been absconding for mooooonttthhs) is DONE! anyway laziness plus too many things happening but none of significane can be blamed on these rare appaearances. so i make no promises that i ll follow through with this one and become a prmanent blogger (ppl would prolly thank me for tht :D) anyway for anyone who hasn been updated on my change of scene, i finished mbbs,house surgeoncy,graduation,8 unsuccesful entrance exams(no it doesnt make me pathetic :D),shifted bases to thrissur,started work(hard earned money has its own value :D) and am hoping to sudy study and study this year in hopes of cracking the 9th exam!! even though blogging is supposed to be open your soul kinda thing me being an extre

I woke up with a start at 7.45am,i was so LATE!! I was supposed to be in hospital at 8 and that too for DMO(duty medical officer) and of all the days i had to tak an early morning shower to make sure i dont wanna rip my skin out of being in hospital for 24 hrs without seein outside sun and after being in all the wierd smells possible!!! i rush and am here by 8.15 and everythng seems to be going slow & stable,just 2 patients-1, 54 yr old with cough & fever with creps & xray that even i can diagnose as pneumonia and 1 18yr old gal who s prolly having an anxiety attack cause of an exam.lets see what my day has in hold for me.if i get a chance to blog again that mean i am way too relaxed!! lets hope i do!! :D

1.OBG is not for me,i can think of one who d be glad to hear tht! :P 2.interns get shouted at by pg s who get shouted by asst.prof who get it from assoc prof who gets it from hou s. 3.we totally deserve the money they are giving us! 4.moments of internship bring a smile to your face and make all of it worth it! 5.we dont know eonugh to cure but thankfully we know enough not cause more harm. 6.sisters are a gem! they make our lives easier and many a times they know more from their experience than we do. 7.every day in hospital u see a doctor whom you should pray that you dont turn out like. 8.some teachers of us are so good they deserve the respect we give and some are so bad,we wonder what they are doing most of the time?! 9.humility is a virtue one can never have too much off! 10.and yes ofcourse noone ever told tht PG life is this bad! :O :O 11.finally,this seems like all the fun we ll have so pls do have fun!!!

tra la la! tra la la! ta da da, ta da da! it only works well with the specific tune in my head :D i cant help it that none of you get it :P i would skip around if i was sure i could skip around without breaking something around or spraining my "problematic" double joints :D even though i have quite a few to spare its been already under enough thru 22 yrs, y test it any further?! so anyone who knows anythn about my life rite now,(shame on you, who didn keep in touch :P ) knows my boundless energy ( yes, a little more than my usual annoying amounts ;) ) comes from almost being done with MBBS :D who knew 5 yrs back that this day would come this fast?! yes lots hav happened in life, i am 5 yrs older and much wiser (i would like to believe :D ) and with a degree almost in my hands! lets hope i am not being too premature about this article and tht i pass! anyways with lots of late nights, too less sleep, and a few break downs i am here (ok, i still have ne more to go! :D )on the ot

in ten minutes it ll be 12, it ll be november 5th. 2 years ago on this day my brother succumbed after being in hospital for 5 days post a road traffic accident. 2 yrs ago i was the happy go lucky younger spolit sister of a quiet,tempramental 22 yr old who thought more about me than i did about him. 2yrs ago i was the girl who never had a crisis to face in her life. life without him in the picture has been a miserable climb on a mountain to find a place to stand. i keep losing my footing and then i fall back some. thankfully i have these barriers around me who keep me from falling over the edges,without them i would n have made it this far and be sane. 2 yrs ago when i had to hold the hands of my crying father and kiss the cheeks of my cold brother i never thought i would come to a day when i would be ok enough to write about it. as someone told me those last 6 days were so horrible that i donot remember the good times we had. this post is to remind myself. born 2 yrs elder to me, he pl

ok so y is that birthdays are such a big deal? its not like it reminds of how much yonger and better the life is getting but just reminds us our growing disillusionment with life.. u r 4 and ur bday cake is all u worry about.. by 12 u think about the gifts u might get.. by 18 u r obsessed with who forgot your bday and by 22 u arent happy with anything! :P dont get me wrong, bdays are my favourite, its your day wen u are made to feel extra special by the people around you.. when they go the extra mile for you and in the last 22 yrs except for maybe 1 bday i hav never been unhappy.. but thn i am generally a happy person and yes i do hav witnesses to coroborate! :D but sometimes i think its about time i have gotten over my almost childish happiness at bdays.. but then every year i think next year and tht hasn happened yet, doesnt mean it wont happen next yr! :D i share my bday with my mom.. by wierd twist of our life lines, both of us were on the same day and i look exactly like her also,

1.i talk a lot 2.i argue a lot 3.i like being right 4.i love making friends & meeting new people 5.i keep in touch (atleast more thn some i kno!) 6.i hate the heat & i love d first rains 7.i am a good listner too! (somebody blive me,i am!) 8.i am picky about food (as i hav found out recently!) 9.i love swimming 10.there s no one in my clinics batch i havent gotten into an argument with! :D (i still claim i wasn wrong most of d times) 11. i have a very sort temper and very stubborn streak! 12.i can keep secrets! 13.i have a big mouth literally! ( i can put my entire fist in my mouth!:D ) 14. i have hyper extensible joints! :D 15.i am totally jobless at the moment :D PS: any one with any objections or additions to d abve 15 pls feel free to comment! :D

so at the moment i have gotten 2 advice on my blogging skills, make it longer to put it plainly and make it simpler being the second one. one other conclusion i have come to by myself is that i dont talk sense! i dont mean that nobody understands my english, i mean people who donot kno me have no way in hell of knowing what i am talking about,ie there is no subject or object to my vague ponderings! but then who said blaoggin has to make sense to any one other than the blogger and if the reader cant make head or tail of it,well bad luck for them :D come to think of it i really should put more thought into what i am writing than just pen down the myriad of random thoughts in my head,i could comment about my very vocal interest in politics indian and otherwise but i am not sure i wont bore off the very few readers i have of now! :D anyway as i see it blogging is me clearing my head for new thoughts, not that i ever have lack of any new ones at a given time. its a personal note which i mos

i wish you were here.. i wish i had known how much you being there meant to me.. i wish i hadnt been the selfish spoilt younger one..i wish the last time i talked to you wasn a month before..i wish you had known i loved you.i miss having yelling sprees with you. i miss you calling me to just talk to me. i miss our constant bickering and fights.i miss making fun of you with girls.i miss knowing that you will not be around. i miss being worried at where you were going.i miss being the younger one. i miss confidence you had in me. i miss the fact you wont be there ever to see me make all my misakes and yell at me.i wish i had not taken you for granted. i wish you could see how guilty you not being there makes me. i wish i didn have to think i am alone.i wish i had seen your college after the no of times u told me. i wish you could see what amma is going through. i wish you were there for me to feel like the younger one again. most of all i wish i had known i would miss you this much once

no i am not talking about the song, didn evn kno a song was there with the lyrics until like recently! i am talking about the knowledge that u are loved.before i am blamed for conceitedness(which i am blamed, unresaonably i believe, for quite usually :D) lemme try and explain! to know deep in your heart that there are people who care truly for how you are, is something i ask everyone to step back and enjoy. for those who haven been as lucky as i, i sincerely wish you better for the times to come. when you are yelled at for being upset over some stupid viva gone wrong, when u always have someone to confide in without being judged, when you are thrown 3 day long bdays when they didn hav to bother, when someone walks with you to your exam calming you that u ll be fine,when your thoughts are read on your face,when your are told to have happy thougts when you didn know u were having sad ones, when you are corrected from behaving like a total jerk, when you are made to walk straight,when you

old is how i feel! everyone in my college is younger than me, save a few.one fourth of my life is over (ie if i live to be 88!!)its a cliched statement that college life s the best with just fun and frolic and no worries but what the heck were they talking about?!!! if college after being supposedly worry-free is like this, god knows what actual life ( our parents think life we are having aren't the real ones!) will be like! don't get me wrong i loved my college like any next person andi am more excited than half the people i know to be going out there and explore the "real world" but it is kinda sad to know tht the people u spend Ur last 4 years with would fade on to being no more than faint hopefully pleasant memories..yes i know cycle of life and blah and blah but still..friendships made with thought and emotions will cease to be.. i am not naive enough to think "we ll keep in touch"! i think after college showed me how school faded away into abyss of mem

med school (or maybe manipal) has taught me to 1. be extremely good at cramming 2.complain day and night through months 3.stay away from friends if u still want to be friends 4.be ready for college for in a max of 10 min 5.have fun 6.experiment. 7.pleasures of travelling!! :D 8.be compltly pissed off at people for no fault of their own :D 9.be so bored tht u read paper and thn end up liking it!! 10.expect the unexpected in life (u ll still be shocked wen it hapns to you )